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  • Meh.com Encore

Altchek MD Beauty Bundle

If you’re getting these for yourself, the timing is irrelevant. New skin care products you buy on February 17th will be as useful to you as any you might have bought on the first.

But in case you might have bought them as a Valentine’s Day gift, we stalled. We waited to sell them until now. We protected you from yourself. No need to thank us.

Dudes are not great, in general, at choosing Valentine’s Day gifts. Sure, an individual dude with half an ounce of sense can exploit this widespread ineptitude, easily clearing the low bar set by his S.O.’s last fella, who bought her a ball gag, or one of those teddy bears holding a heart, or one of those teddy bears wearing a ball gag.

But we don’t know whether the dudes in our audience have half an ounce of sense. We’ve been trying our best to find out, but it turns out you’re a fairly inscrutable lot. With that and the well-being of your relationships in mind, we had no choice but to withhold today’s products until after February 14th to protect you from possibly giving them as Valentine’s Day gifts.

Buying your special someone a gift from the beauty and cosmetics product category is fraught, y’all.

First, users of these products often have very particular preferences, and you probably do not know what your partner likes. Remember when your parents bought you GoBots, but you wanted Transformers? It’s like that. But more complicated.

Second, when you give someone beauty products, you run the risk of suggesting the recipient could use some work. “I got these for you! You know. To help with your blemishes and wrinkles and stuff.” Let the creeps from One Direction handle the weird backhanded makeup messaging; you stick to gifts that communicate unambiguous loving support. Like maybe a set of workout videos. Wait, no, that’s not right.

Finally, unless you are a beauty product user or industry professional, it’s unlikely you can tell the good stuff from the junk. This is especially true when you’re trolling the Internet’s discount bins. Why is the price so good? Overshooting in the supply chain? Some retailer went belly-up for reasons unrelated to this product’s quality or popularity? Or is it just junk? Odds are you won’t be able to figure it out. You’re left relying either on your poor instincts, or the outfit trying to sell the stuff. That’s us. And we’ve got a clear conflict of interest in this regard. Why would you trust us?

I mean, other than the fact that we may have just saved your Valentine’s Day. You’re welcome.

Features

  • 20-piece Beauty Renewal Bundle has everything you need to refresh your skin
  • Six five-minute clay renewal masks use a blend of french clay, charcoal, and honey to fix up your busted-ass face
  • 12 hydrogel masks employ “an intensive blend of vitamin and botanical extracts”, much pleasanter than the crocodile-shit baths they used to use in ancient Greece
  • Two 30-packs of pre-moistened make-up remover towelettes
  • No more moistening your own towelettes, think how much time you’ll save

Specifications

  • 5 Minute Clay Renewal Mask
    • Model: 10012111
    • Condition: New
    • Blended with French Clay, Charcoal and Honey to purify and unclog pores without drying your face
    • Calms blemishes as it balances the PH in your skin
    • Non-hardening formula leaves skin amazingly soft, smooth, and glowing
    • Key Ingredients: French Green Clay, Aloe Vera, Charcoal, Honey, Salicylic Acid, Hydrolyzed Collagen
  • Hydrogel Mask
    • Model: 10015100
    • Condition: New
    • Mask treats skin to an intensive blend of vitamin and botanical extracts
    • Innovative hydrogel technology minimizes essence evaporation, allowing for complete absorption
    • Restores radiance and glow while smoothing fine lines and wrinkles
    • Plumps the skin for a firmer look
    • Key Ingredients: Retinol Vitamin A, Hydrolyzed Collagen, Green Tea, Witch Hazel Extract
  • Make-Up Remover Towelettes
    • Model: 1001400K
    • Condition: New
    • 30 pre-moistened towelettes per pack
    • Selected oils and flower waters cleanse all hard to remove makeup
    • Nourishes the delicate skin around your eyes and mouth with each use
    • Key Ingredients: Camellia Japonica Seed Oil, Macadamia Seed Oil, Flower Extracts

What’s in the Box?

6x Clay Masks
12x Hydrogel Masks
2x 30-Count Make-Up Remover Towelettes

Pictures

Stuff
Masks
Masks
Another mask
How many you get
Two things
one thing
Exploding out
Well this is the most depressing funny image we’ve ever run

Price Comparison

Hydrogel Masks: $59.72 (for 4 3-packs) at Amazon
Makeup Remover: $28 (for 2) at Amazon
Clay Mask: was $16 for 3.4oz

Warranty

90 days

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