I’m writing this on Monday night, after the Dow dropped 1,175 points. By the time you read this on Wednesday morning, we’ll have a better sense of whether the markets were just jittery, or whether you should buy one of these Alpine Designs backpacks, fill it will food and ammo, and head to the woods to wait out the global financial collapse.
Meh writer @skemmehs here, writing from Hong Kong, where the Hang Seng Index has slid 4%, mirroring the U.S. market. I’m supposed to catch a flight home soon, but I’m tempted to fill my own backpack with dried squid and hunker down in the hills.
We know what you’re thinking — won’t a catastrophic financial breakdown affect shipping? Possibly. That’s why you should buy one of these backpacks immediately, so it can get to you in time. It’s only prudent.
As everybody will tell you, the stock market is not the economy. And as some economist once said, the stock market has predicted 9 of the last 5 recessions. But if the ship keeps sinking at the rate it did on Monday, these backpacks are going to look like a more and more reasonable retirement plan.
To get a read on consumer confidence, check out the sales breakdown at the bottom of the page. If we’re selling more of the small, 20-liter Midwood backpacks, it means y’all are expecting a short economic blip. If we’re selling a bunch of 60-liter Maple backpacks, it means y’all are preparing for a years-long collapse.
If we haven’t sold a single one … gulp.
Of course, stocks may have rebounded on Tuesday, easing fears. So you can afford to buy a nice backpack for your summer vacation. Phew!
