Our Favorite Day Of The Week
Personal pleasures: Everybody has them. For some, it’s watching the Patriots lose. For others, it’s stopping a gas pump at a round dollar amount. For us, it’s getting people to buy crap they didn’t know they wanted.
We therefore enjoy 2-For-Tuesdays with particular relish. Not only do we convince you to buy something you don’t need — we convince you to buy two! Even on normal days, each click of the “Buy It” button squirts dopamine directly into our cerebral pleasure centers. Tuesdays provide a double dose.
Take these personal safety LED lights. Please. You can strap them anywhere — arms, bikes, strollers, etc. — to get some extra visibility and protect against careless right-turners. They’re waterproof and last 70 hours and blah blah blah. Forget all that: Their most important feature is the joy they will give us, their retailer, when sold.
Did you even know personal safety LED lights were a thing before visiting the page today? And are you now wondering how irresponsible it would be to not buy a pair? Ahhhhh yes. God that feels good.
We have legitimate reasons for selling two of something on Tuesdays, of course, like shipping efficiencies and economies of scale. Maybe the savings we pass on to you is the primary rationale for running these promotions, and not the giggles of impish delight they cause. Maybe.
Keep in mind: 2-For-Tuesdays are not a zero-sum pleasure game. Just because it tickles us to no end doesn’t mean you, the customer, don’t also derive value. Don’t let the tears of joy streaming down our faces deter you from making a wise purchase.
While we have you here, can you think of anything you don’t think you need that we should sell you next week?
