The Parent Crap
When you’re a parent, everything’s disposable. Whether outgrown, thrown from the stroller, or simply shat upon, objects in a kid-filled house are rarely permanent.
So when deciding which foam-alphabet-floor-pad thing to buy, bear in mind the short half-life of anything that comes within reach of your child. You could buy the highest-end foam-alphabet-floor-pad thing (they exist, no joke) or you could buy this for a few bucks and embrace the swirling mass of chaos that is your offspring.
Not that there’s anything wrong with these foam-alphabet-floor-pad things. They’ve got good reviews on Amazon and seem to generally achieve the goal that foam-alphabet-floor-pad set out to. Some bad reviews claim the letters pop out too easily, which makes us think these reviewers don’t understand how foam-alphabet-floor-pad things work (the letters are supposed to come out).
And if you’re considering this as a gift but are worried you might come across as cheap: Don’t worry about it. Most toy gifts from non-parents are so sweetly naive:
“It’s hand-crafted by Tibetan monks and made from yak hair, the most durable natural fiber,” They’ say. “I bought it on Etsy,” They add.
“I ate the toy and now my intestines are full of yak hair and I have to go to the hospital,” your child says. “Burp.” They add.
Believe us: No parent has received a $12 gift and complained. If anything they’ll be relieved that they don’t have to trot the thing out every time you visit. They may not say it out loud, but inside they’ll be thanking you for being a cheapskate.
You’ve already invested too much time in deciding whether to buy this foam-alphabet-floor-pad thing by reading this far. Just buy it and expect the worst.
