The Upper Lip Eraser
When the first few men awoke and found their mustaches gone, they assumed it to be a prank. But then there were more and more. After the mayor held a press conference, clean-faced and angry, the newspapers starting trying out names for the perpetrator. Some called him ‘The Blade’ or ‘Mr. Mustache,’ but The Upper Lip Eraser was the one that stuck.
He left no trace, no calling card. Men all around the city simply woke up, looked in the mirror, and found themselves without a strip of facial hair adorned to their upper lip. Some believed it couldn’t be a single perpetrator, but a group of razor-wielding criminals. Others thought that maybe it was a stunt–perhaps there’d been an Upper Lip Eraser at first, but now the men shaved themselves just to be part of the story.
One anonymous writer claimed, in an op ed, that he was not only real, but a hero. “We must,” the op ed claimed, “cease flaunting our ability to grow hair upon our faces. The Upper Lip Eraser understands this. He is freeing us of our vanity, so that we may all turn to the the future together, our faces equal in their cleanliness.” It was a compelling argument that ultimately lost most readers in its conclusion, where the writer proposed the shaving of all bodily hair.
In short, the Upper Lip Eraser was a sensation for most of the city. But for Detectives Grull and Marshall, it was just another day at the office, albeit a tough day. They had no leads, no witness, nothing… until they found the razor.
“Looks like the perp left out the fire escape but it got stuck in the grating somehow,” Grull said.
Marshall, his gloves on, lifted the razor easily. “Doesn’t seem stuck to me.”
Grull took it from his partner. “Wait a minute, I know these razors. They’re the ones that they sell on discount deal-a-day sites.”
“What kind are they?” Marshall asked.
“That’s just the thing,” Grull said. “Nobody knows. They’re some brand’s excess, so they’re not allowed to disclose the manufacturer. Which means…”
“He knows we’re after him and he’s toying with us,” Marshall said.
“Bingo.” Grull handed the razor back to Marshall, who deposited in an evidence bag. “Better get on the horn with the station. Tell 'em to put a pot of coffee on. It’s looking like another long night.”
