Meh writer @skemmehs here. I’m going camping this weekend so it’s too late for me to take advantage of this exclusive blend of outdoorsy crap, but you still can.
While you read this I’m attempting to survive on the beautiful beaches of Southern California without this 8-piece camping bundle. God knows if I’ll make it. Had I known we were planning to throw together a bunch of outdoorsy crap that was taking up space in our warehouse and call it a “camping bundle,” I never would have braved the outdoors without it. Don’t make the same mistake I did.
While I struggle to feed myself this weekend on whatever mollusks I can find in the sea wrack, you’ll be ready to gorge yourself on chili mac with the PackWare camping spork.
While I toss and turn on the unyielding white-sand ground, you’ll sleep soundly on the Chill Deflector foam pad.
While I stumble blindly through the campground parking lot, you’ll employ your Viatek LED flashlight to stride confidently through the bracken.
While I drink my own urine in desperate survival mode as I try to reach the nearest In-N-Out Burger, you’ll stick one pinky out as you drink from your collapsible FlexWare cup.
While I eat my In-N-Out Double Double Animal Style with extra pickles from my hands like a beast, you’ll sup civilly from your FlexWare bowl.
While I break cheap plastic knife after cheap plastic knife trying to cut through my Double Double, you’ll slice your food with ease using your slightly less cheap PackWare knife.
But while I sit in my beachside hammock swaying in the cool breeze, you’ll be busy scratching your head over WTF that Booma 4-in-1 thing is and why it’s better than a spork.
