As we’ve noted recently, winter is on its way. So you probably won’t set up this Swingan swing for a few months. And that’s why this is so cheap — you’re basically getting a discount because you’ll store it in your garage so some other company doesn’t have to keep it in their warehouse
You could say that Meh is part of the “sharing economy” everybody is talking about and investing in. Think about it: By purchasing this swing you’re basically renting out some storage space in your home for a few bucks a month (the amount you’re saving by buying this now instead of April). You’re not spending money when you buy off-season crap from us, you’re putting your storage space to work for a discounted price, just like how Uber drivers puts their cars to work for almost no real money.
Maybe instead of a “daily deals” site we should call ourselves a “storage sharing platform” or a “peer-to-peer goods stowage solution.” We’ll get our marketing ninja to iron out the branding. (We only hire “ninjas” now that we’re part of the sharing economy.)
We’ve been going about this all wrong. We shouldn’t say the VMP membership gives you free shipping and whatever. It “connects you with a network of warehouse managers.” And we shouldn’t say that we sell crap for cheap. We “facilitate storage swapping for a small handling fee.” Our website sounds way more important and cutting-edge when we pitch it as a part of the sharing economy and not just some dumb store.
But why have all the other sharing economy companies like Uber and Airbnb raised billions of dollars and we haven’t? We’re like, totally disrupting the off-season warehouse utilization space and Alphabet hasn’t even invested a single billion in us. What gives? Can’t VC firms identify a disrupter when it’s disrupting right in front of their face?
You get it. You understand the enormous potential in our revolutionary business model. Maybe you should invest in us. You can start with a $54 “investment” in this swing thing. You’re not just buying a toy for your kids – you’re revolutionizing the storage-ownership paradigm.
And we’re not stopping with providing solutions to over-filled warehouses. No, the growth we’re envisioning will require much, much more disruption. That’s why we’re also providing cost-cutting solutions to landfills, which won’t be as full of this crap after we foist it on our customers.
