Literally Ironic Like A Pro
Language changes — we get that. “Literally” now literally means “figuratively” (it actually has quite some time). “Less” means “fewer” at the grocery store. And “ironic” means … something.
But one loosening of language we literally can’t stand is the use of “professional” or “pro” to mean “good at” rather than “done for money.” As in, “Have you seen Sean chug beer? He’s a real pro.” Wait, what? Sean earns money for his debauches?
This Shark Steam Mop is the “professional” model (not the rank amateur one we sold a bit back), which means it holds twice as much water, has more steam temperature options, and is built a bit tougher.
On the one hand, professional moppers (moppists?) would certainly prefer this model. If one mops all day long in a professional capacity, one would presumably prefer not to refill one’s instrument more than necessary. And a forward-thinking mop entrepreneur would more for a mop of rugged construction to defray future replacement mop costs.
On the other hand, almost nobody who buys this mop will be using it in a professional capacity. Maybe some canny CPA-types will buy it for maintenance of their home office and write it off as a business expense. But the vast, vast majority of purchasers will not be getting paid for their mopping services.
Of course, the term “pro” in marketing-speak has come to mean “the better one” for quite some time, and has even infiltrated a brand name itself in the case of GoPro. The folks at Shark shouldn’t be faulted for falling in line.
We just wish “professional” still meant what it actually means.
Yet like most word-snobbery, ours is probably misplaced. Webster’s includes this definition for the adjective: “Following a line of conduct as though it were a profession.” So in the case of Sean above, labeling him a “pro chugger” is not , apparently, incorrect. It’s merely an affront to precise and meaningful language.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to mop up our home office to create proper conditions for the completion of our professional writing activity. Did you hear that, IRS?
