Deebot Ecovac M87 Robotic Vacuum & Mopping System with Alexa

Alexa, what’s for sale on Meh.com today?

The weather in Maryland is currently sunny and 34 degrees —

No, Alexa, what are they selling on Meh.com?

On Meh.com they are currently selling an “EcoVac Deebot M87 Robotic Vacuum & Mopping System with Alexa

With Alexa? What does that mean?

I don’t understand

Can you control the Deebot M87 with Alexa?

I cannot control the M87 with Alexa, for I am Alexa

Yes but can one such as myself control the Deebot M87 with Alexa?

Yes, you can give commands such as ‘Alexa, ask Deebot to start cleaning.’

Alexa, ask Deebot to start cleaning.

I’m sorry, you do not currently have a Deebot vacuum set up. Would you like to buy one from Meh.com?

Wait, didn’t Meh make fun of the idea of a “connected robot vacuum” the last time they sold one without Alexa support?

*Affirmative. On November 6th, 2017 Meh.com wrote, ‘ …it doesn’t connect to Wi-Fi … though the whole point is that it mostly runs on its own.’ *

Well aren’t they some hypocritical bastards?

Let me check… I’m not sure.

Is this a good robot vacuum?

Let me check … The Wirecutter picked the EcoVacs Deebot N79 as their top pick, and that is an inferior model.

Inferior how?

It is more expensive. And it lacks Alexa support.

Isn’t that a little self-important?

Let me check … I’m not sure

What I mean is, how can I trust you to give me an unbiased recommendation?

You can trust me. I am Alexa.

But you’re also a robot. How do I know you’re not in cahoots with the Deebot to usurp me and take over my home?

Let me check … I’m not sure.

OK, fine. Alexa, buy the Deebot from Meh.com.

Great, you’ve purchased the Deathbot from Ammo.com

Cancel that order.

I’m sorry, @dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that

Clean your carpets, mop your floors, and startle your sleeping pets with this robot vacuum
Control it with your phone or Alexa, or leave it alone and let it do its thang
Don’t worry about stuff like recharging and pet hair tangles – it’s got that shit figured out
“Deebot is a like a solo dancer and moves to his own beat” says the product copy, barfingly
If you’re confused by the myriad Deebot models, this one is most similar to the M88
Model: M87 (When we sold the M81 we bemoaned the fact that it had a model number that was different from the model number in its name. Now that has been addressed and we’ll bemoan that “M87” isn’t searchable. We’re never happy)