Don’t bring a knife to a word fight.
Webster’s Dictionary defines “hack” as “a writer who works for hire, especially with mediocre professional standards.” Webster’s Dictionary also defines “knife” as “a cutting instrument consisting of a metal blade fastened to a handle.” All we can say is, Webster knows his shiznit.
Because here we have two metal blades fastened to handles, and we defy anyone to prove otherwise. At least one person in our office says this Smith & Wesson Black Tanto number is “the crappiest knife I’ve ever seen.” In our forums, the opinion runs the gamut from “As far as Chinese knives go, these are very good” to “my toddler’s blunt-edge practice butter knife is sharper than this one” to “It’ll do for an EDC knife, but pray you don’t have to use it.”
What’s the common word in all those reviews, from the harshly negative to the mildly dismissive? That’s right: “knife”. Everyone agrees that these meet the minimum standard of what can be legitimately called knives. We’re not about to argue.
We’re not going to bedazzle you with any alluring adjectives, like “useful” or “sharp” or “good”. We’re not going to go out on a limb and say these would come in handy if you’re stuck out on a literal limb. We’re not going to tie ourselves in logical knots by claiming these would help you untie actual knots.
It’s a pair of knives for ten bucks, from a brand name you’ve heard of. That’s all we’re saying. That’s all you can make us say. Each one meets the Webster standard: “a cutting instrument consisting of a metal blade fastened to a handle.” If you want to argue with Webster, you’re on your own.
