Doesn't Fit
My first thought was: maybe I just don’t get fashion. It was Screenprint Sunday after all, but looking at this shirt, I couldn’t even tell how the hell you even put it on. And trust me, I tried. There were no sleeves, no hole for your head, nothing. The only thing I could think was maybe it’s a do-it-yourself shirt? So I started using duct-tape to adhere it to myself, but that wasn’t very comfortable. Not to mention this guy started getting on my case, being all like, ‘You can’t do that here, sir.’ So I was like, ‘You think you’re the boss or something, tough guy?’ And he said, ‘As a matter of fact I do manage this Dunkin’ Donuts.’
Then, a thought occurred to me: we’ve done blankets on Screenprint Sunday too! So I lay down and arranged the various parts of thing thing on top of me. This wasn’t great either. And now the guy was all, ‘You really need to leave, sir. I’ve called the police.’
At my wit’s end, I went home and emailed @Dave. He wrote back a long message about something something he’s glad I’m okay something something something he heard a news story about some creep dressed like a robot causing a ruckus at a Des Moines area Dunkin’ Donuts. I only skimmed that part, as it wasn’t a concern to me since I had just recently been banned from entering any Des Moines area Dunkin’ Donuts. Finally, near the end of the email, I got to the important part:
This wasn’t a shirt at all! It was actually a karaoke machine! I’d gotten so set in my ways for Sunday sales, I’d forgotten to read the name of the product.
And, honestly, it actually seems pretty cool. Especially this part:
“Suppress the vocal frequencies of a song to turn any track into a karaoke track. You can then change the key of the vocals to better suit the range of the singer to help almost anyone sound like a star.”
That means, not only do you get a microphone and a great speaker; you can sing to any song. This was especially exciting to me, as most karaoke bars would never let me sing my favorites, such “Bird Is The Word” or “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” or “The Rockafeller Skank.”
I was so embarrassed about the mistake, I went right to Dunkin’ Donuts to apologize. They locked the door as soon as I stepped out of my car. I guess I should’ve put on an actual shirt after peeling the karaoke machine off. Oh, well! We all make mistakes!
