We’d like to offer Thule, the Swedish manufacturer of these roll-top backpacks, our hearty thanks. They made our job easy and enjoyable today.
“Easy" because these high-quality, rugged backpacks should sell themselves without a lot of hype or hoopla on our part. They received no 1-star reviews on Amazon – a rare feat. At least a single dipshit invariably hands out a 1-star review for some trifling concern, like the color in the picture not matching its IRL hue. Or for something completely out of the manufacturer’s control, like slow shipping. But this bag has, so far, emerged unscathed by dipshittery.
“Enjoyable” because this backpack gave us the impetus to read this delightful Wikipedia article on the mythical northern land of “Thule,” or “Tile" after which this company is (presumably) named. We’re suckers for obscure Wikipedia rabbit holes, and Thule delivered.
Thule was named by ancient historians as far back as 300 BC, though nobody now agrees where it was. It may have been what are now known as the Faroe Islands, Iceland, or Norway. Or it may have been the Ancient Greek version of the pool-on-roof practical joke. “Yeah, yeah, just keep sailing north and you’ll hit Thule. Can’t miss it.”
What more can we learn of Thule and its inhabitants? The Roman historian Strabo said, "the people (of Thule) live on millet and other herbs.” But what the hell are you talking about, Strabo? Millet isn’t an herb, it’s a grain. Why do you expect us to trust you on a topic as important as Thule when you can’t even keep your basic horticultural classifications straight? Get your head out of your ass, Strabo.
Without visiting this trove of a Wikipedia page we never would have learned that the 69th element on the periodic table, Thulium, derives its name from this mythical land. Or that a YouTube channel from a Norwegian metal musician called “The Thulean Perspective” exists. Or that the Nazi occultists thought the Aryan race originated in Thule.
Oh. Hmm. Maybe that’s enough Wikipediaing for one day. Did we mention that this backpack has great pockets?
