Hard-sided or soft luggage? Which to choose? It’s a question that has vexed humanity since at least this morning when we first thought of it, and probably before then too. Travel experts have their various opinions, we assume, but don’t you just find experts so obnoxious, with their informed opinions, and their extensive relevant experience, and their (ick) expertise? It’s like: What makes their judgment, based on detailed knowledge, any more valid than mine, which I fired off without giving it very much thought? Elitists!
So we created this short, seven-question quiz to create SCIENTIFIC PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILES that allow us to sort the hard-sided luggage people from the soft-sided luggage people. Even if you don’t know yet which one you are, honest responses to the following few questions will divine the answer from within you. Cool? Let’s begin!
QUESTION ONE:
What’s your favorite thing about turtles?
a. The rigid, bony shells that protect them
b. I like the trionychids, or “softshell” turtles
c. The way they carry their homes on their backs
QUESTION TWO:
Which popular music genre do you prefer?
a. “Hard rock”
b. “Soft rock”
c. “Backpack Rap”
QUESTION THREE:
With which of the Three Little Pigs do you most closely identify?
a. The third Little Pig, who saw the security benefit in building a robust structure
b. The second Little Pig, who prioritized ease of handling and transporting his lighter-weight materials
c. Either of the first two Little Pigs, but only in the moment after their homes were destroyed, when they had to flee to their sibling’s place with a few essentials in a tablecloth bindle
QUESTION FOUR:
What’s your favorite food?
a. A hard-shell taco
b. A soft taco
c. Backstraps
QUESTION FIVE:
What style of luggage suits you best?
a. Hard-sided
b. Soft-sided
c. A backpack
QUESTION SIX:
Are you sad we aren’t selling backpacks today?
a. No, they are too soft and floppy anyway.
b. No, I would rather tote than wear my bag.
c. Inconsolably, yes.
QUESTION SEVEN:
Which Marvel Comics character is your favorite?
a. Iron Man, because of his sturdy, high-tech exoskeleton
b. Mr. Fantastic, for his ability to squash into different shapes
c. Captain America, for the clever and practical method he uses to carry his shield when it is not in use
SCORING:
There is no need to tally up your scores for analysis. Just check your answer to question five. We snuck it in there. Got you to lower your guard, then asked you directly. Classic psych 101 trick. Boom, breakthrough. Now you understand yourself better.
You’re welcome. Shop accordingly.
