2-for-Tuesday: Random 46"x67" Microfiber Coral Fleece Reversible Throws

Squares and narcs might look at these and see “blankets,” but they’re so much more than that, man. They’re not bound by labels.

They’re both everything and nothing. They’re both you and me. They’re both microfiber fleece and quilted polyester. They’re both yin and yang. You dig?

Everyone’s trapped in, like. the same way of thinking, you know? People need to expand their minds and get with the soul frequency.

Like, microfiber fleece is the same thing that phone screen wipes are made out of, right? So why call them “blankets” when you could call them “the world’s largest phone cleaning cloths?” Maybe because even that label is a bummer. You could wrap yourself up in it while you clean your phone’s screen.

Whoaaaaaaaa. Cosmic.

Humans lost their innate creativity with the invention of clocks and the buzz-harshing jobs that came along with them. Don’t kill your inner mystic with a 9-5. Cut these blankets into smaller squares and sell them on the street as phone screen wipes for 10 bones a pop. Each blanket is like 46” by 67” and screen cleaners are like 8” by 6”, so with two blankets you could make …

Hold on …

Forget it. You could make, like, a lot of phone wipes.

Why are we talking about phone wipes? It seems like we’ve been talking about phone wipes instead of blankets for, like, ever. Right?

Point is, amigo, these blankets aren’t even blankets. Nothing is nothing, you dig? So like, stop trying to fit everything into a neat little box and just let it grow, let it blossom …

What were we talking about?

Features

  • Two reversible blankets for the price of a single irreversible blanket
  • “Microfiber coral fleece” on one side, “quilted polyester” on the other — the photos explain better than words
  • 46” x 67”, though you can make them much smaller by employing an ancient Eastern technique called “folding”
  • Perfect for guests, cats, and guest cats
  • Experts estimate that roughly 0.5% of the population has “too many blankets” so you probably fall in the other 99.5%
  • Model: 5FTHROWO-AS2-ST (There’s something both eerie and comforting about seeing blank search results for a model number. It’s weird to see that a string of characters associated with a product has no presence whatsoever on the internet, but nice to know that Google doesn’t know everything about the world)

Specifications

Specs

  • Model: 5FTHROWO-AS2-ST
  • Condition: New
  • Dimensions: 45" x 67"
  • Material: 100% polyester
  • Fleece weight: 85 GSM
  • Polyester with padding weight: 40 GSM

What’s in the Box?

2x Throws

Pictures

Blankets
Two of them
Two more
Dos mas
Wrapped up
The ugliest one? Perhaps.
Reversable
Detail shot

Warranty

90 days

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